Opinion

WHO-? 

What's in the Name? When is the Name?/The Wedding of River Song

 I feel that most of the Whovian fandom I see online, while discussing the Doctor and his name take it for granted that 11 had the only chance to tell River his name in The Wedding of River Song. I mean, WHY? 12th spent decades with her, so logically he would have the best chance and settng to tell her his name. 

Also there was a really good theory I once read that the name of the Doctor is more than just a name. In rare instances, it is like a security protocol or passwords. Like the Greater Intelligence wanted his name to open his tomb at Trenzalore. So maybe, just maybe..., his name can do that again, ELSEWHERE. After a Time Lord of Gallifrey dies, his or her mind, all they have seen, all there memories gets uploaded to The Matrix, without the physical incarnations. Maybe there can be corners of the Matrix accessible only by the real name of a Time Lord, once they have died. So if they have a name and they somehow are within the Matrix, then maybe they can open it up and change events in real time. For someone like the Doctor, who has saved numerous lives in so many universes and defeated so many enemies along the way, somehow undoing all that in real-time can be catastrophic. Maybe that is why the name is such a big secret.

The theory is really good and someday might even hold true; if not in the televised stories then maybe in an alternate universe Big Finish production or Comic arc.

The only drawback I find is that this would be highly unlikely, because other species that have attacked and probed the Doctor's life over the years would have taken drastic measures to find out his name. Instead of a faction of a security church ordering the species of Silents to ensure that the Doctor never gets to speak his name and that "Silence should fall", there would be more intrusive steps by Organic-Daleks, Augmented humanoids and species with Hiding mechanisms and psychic abilities like post-hypnotic suggestibility like the Angels and Silents to plant someone in the Doctor's life and gain his trust, or maybe to spring a trap worthy of the Doctor with a savior-complex, where the name could be psychically extracted.

My perfect headcannon is that the Wedding that River Song had was a short version, within a version of a kind of Time War (more like war for Time). So maybe the 12th and River renewed their vows/ had a child together, the Gallifreyan version of which has stipulations or naming ceremonies where the groom/father must speak out his name. Alternatively, outside the scope of our knowledge, the 12th Doctor and River might have started something together, maybe a collection or end-time protocol or security convention and safe haven where they can reach each other, which required their original versions of the names as a passcode.

Loveable

Stretching on the previous point, my personal opinion is that while River fell in love with the 11th, the 12th Doctor was the one who fell in love with River Song, all over again. Not that 11 did not love her, but he had greater struggles - end of universe, loss of friends, nearing the bottom of his regenerative cycle, dealing with mysteries like the Impossible Girl, knowing that he is nearing the end of his time with River. But 12 had only one concern - is he a good man? An idea that was resonated throughout his entire tenure and all seasons as the Doctor, even at the last moments where he instructs out his next version to be good, never cruel or cowardly and hold the true essence of being the "Doctor". Even his theme in the official release was "A Good Man (Twelve's Theme)".

Maybe for him, a part of being good was directed at River as well. Maybe I am opinionated because of the little but amazing chemistry Alex Kingston and Peter Capaldi had in The Husbands of River Song, but I strongly stand by the noion.